Attachment parenting was promoted by the American pediatrician William Sears who promoted the importance of the emotional connection between parents and children; as well as for sensitive attention to the needs of babies and the formation of strong bonds.
Sears proposed attachment parenting as a style based on proximity and constant attention; he was convinced that an emotional bond with parents at the time of childhood could lead children to happiness and well-being. For this pediatrician, the needs and desires of babies are the same during the first months of life, which is why he proposed eight basic principles of attachment parenting, known as the 8 B’s, they all begin with the letter B.
Psychologist Angela Cuervo MartInez explains in her research Parenting Guidelines and Socio-Affective Development in Childhood that William Sears described parenting as the “attitudes and behaviors of parents, identifying the subjective well-being and attitudes of the child.” Which means that interactions in the family and the way in which parents address their children influence the socio-affective development of the children.
Attachment parenting by William Sears takes up elements of a theory that marks trends in parenting styles, it is attachment theory.
What does attachment theory say?
Attachment theory was developed by British psychologist John Bowlby in the years (1969-1980), who argued that human beings have a natural tendency to seek proximity and contact with their attachment figures, especially in times of distress. or danger.
Bowlby, through his work during World War II with children separated from their parents, found specific patterns of behavior and emotional responses that were common in all of them: a strong need to establish and maintain proximity with their primary caregivers, especially in stressful or dangerous situations.
He observed that children sought physical contact, security and comfort from their attachment figures to calm their distress and restore their sense of security, so the quality of the attachment relationship between the child and their primary caregiver had an impact. significant in emotional development, as well as in the way in which children interacted with the world.
Principles of attachment parenting
The 8Bs of attachment parenting proposed by pediatrician William Sears are as follows:
- Birth bonding: Skin-to-skin contact between baby and mother fosters a bond from birth, so this approach should be sought in the first hours of life.
- Breastfeeding: Sears considered breastfeeding the best way to feed the baby, not only because of the nutrients it provides, but also because of the bond between mother and baby.
- Babywearing (carrying the baby in your arms): This allows direct contact with the mother or father, making the baby feel more protected and less stressed.
- Beding close to baby: Either in the same bed or very close to the baby, to avoid the anxiety caused by separation that some children feel, especially at night, which prevents them from resting better.
- Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry: Crying is the way in which the baby communicates when he needs something. When you understand that crying is your child’s language, you begin to trust the importance of this form of communication, better understanding the child’s needs.
- Beware of baby trainers: From attachment parenting, the way of caring for babies is not governed by calendars or clocks, but rather it must be considered that the needs of the child are above the adult needs.
- Balance: Moms and dads need to understand their children’s needs to avoid unrealistic expectations about children’s behaviors. Discipline is aimed at showing children consequences that arise from their actions and listening.
- Both (both parents): This principle refers to the participation of dad and mom in caring for the baby.
Benefits of Attachment Parenting
Parenting styles vary widely, and one approach that has gained increasing recognition and popularity is attachment parenting. This philosophy emphasizes building a strong emotional bond between parents and children, promoting a secure and nurturing environment. The benefits of attachment parenting are numerous and extend across various aspects of a child’s development.
Secure Attachment and Emotional Well-Being
Attachment parenting is rooted in the idea of creating a secure attachment between parents and children. This emotional bond fosters a sense of security and trust, providing a foundation for healthy emotional development. Children who experience secure attachment are often more confident, resilient, and better equipped to handle stress and challenges later in life.
Enhanced Brain Development
Research suggests that the close physical and emotional connection formed through attachment parenting can positively impact a child’s brain development. The consistent responsiveness of parents to their child’s needs promotes the development of neural pathways related to emotional regulation and social skills, laying the groundwork for cognitive and emotional intelligence.
Improved Sleep Patterns
Attachment parenting often involves practices like co-sleeping and responsive nighttime parenting. While the debate on co-sleeping continues, many attachment parenting advocates argue that it can lead to improved sleep patterns for both parents and children. The close proximity of the child to the parent can create a sense of security, promoting better sleep quality for the entire family.
Better Social Skills
Children who experience attachment parenting tend to develop strong social skills. The emphasis on responsive communication and empathetic caregiving teaches children how to relate to others, express their emotions effectively, and navigate social situations with confidence. This foundation can contribute to the formation of positive and meaningful relationships throughout their lives.
Increased Independence
Contrary to some misconceptions, attachment parenting does not hinder a child’s independence; rather, it fosters a secure base from which children can explore the world. Knowing that their parents are there to support and comfort them allows children to venture out with confidence, developing a healthy balance between exploration and the security of a nurturing relationship.
Positive Parent-Child Relationship
Attachment parenting emphasizes the importance of responsiveness and sensitivity to a child’s needs. This approach helps strengthen the parent-child relationship, fostering open communication and mutual understanding. The strong emotional connection formed through attachment parenting can lead to a more positive and supportive family dynamic.
Emotional Regulation and Coping Skills
Children raised with attachment parenting principles often exhibit better emotional regulation and coping skills. The secure base provided by responsive caregiving enables children to learn effective ways of dealing with stress and adversity, contributing to their overall emotional well-being.
Criticisms of Attachment Parenting
Time and Energy Demands
One of the primary criticisms of attachment parenting is the significant time and energy it demands from parents. The philosophy often promotes practices such as co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and constant physical closeness. Critics argue that these practices can be exhausting for parents, especially if they have other responsibilities such as work or caring for multiple children. The intense focus on constant connection may not be practical for all families, leading to potential feelings of guilt or inadequacy.
Impact on Parental Well-being
Critics argue that the emphasis on meeting a child’s every need in attachment parenting can sometimes neglect the well-being of parents. Constant physical closeness and a lack of personal space may lead to burnout and stress for parents, potentially impacting their mental health. The idea of sacrificing personal needs for the sake of the child’s attachment can be seen as unrealistic and unsustainable, especially in modern societies where parents often juggle various responsibilities.
Socialization Challenges
Attachment parenting practices such as baby-wearing and co-sleeping may be viewed critically in terms of their potential impact on a child’s socialization skills. Critics argue that children raised in an environment where they are constantly in close proximity to their parents may face challenges in developing independence and social skills. The concern is that attachment parenting might hinder a child’s ability to interact with peers and navigate social situations autonomously.
Potential for Over-Dependency:
Another criticism is the fear that attachment parenting may foster over-dependency in children. By consistently meeting a child’s every need and prioritizing immediate responsiveness, some critics argue that children might struggle to develop resilience and self-soothing skills. This over-dependency could potentially lead to difficulties when the child faces situations where the parent cannot immediately provide comfort or support.
Inflexibility in Parenting Styles
Attachment parenting is often associated with a set of specific practices, and some critics argue that this can lead to an inflexible approach to parenting. The strict adherence to practices such as breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping may not accommodate the diverse needs and circumstances of different families. Critics suggest that a more adaptable parenting approach might better suit the varying needs of children and parents.
Pressure on Parents
The principles of attachment parenting, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently create pressure on parents to conform to a particular set of ideals. This pressure may stem from societal expectations or a desire to be perceived as a “good” parent. Critics argue that this pressure can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, especially for parents who may struggle to meet the strict criteria associated with attachment parenting.
Cultural Variations
Attachment parenting principles may not be universally applicable across different cultures. Critics argue that the emphasis on practices like co-sleeping may not align with cultural norms in certain societies, potentially creating a disconnect between the philosophy and the reality of diverse cultural practices related to child-rearing.
Is Attachment Parenting Controversial?
Attachment parenting is indeed a topic of controversy. Proponents argue that it fosters secure, emotionally intelligent individuals by promoting trust and connection. Critics, however, contend that it may lead to over-dependence and hinder a child’s ability to self-soothe. The controversy extends to practices such as co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and baby-wearing, with some viewing them as essential for healthy development and others as potentially problematic. Societal opinions vary, influenced by cultural norms, personal beliefs, and parenting philosophies. Ultimately, the debate around attachment parenting reflects the ongoing discourse on the balance between nurturing and fostering independence in child-rearing.